No Turning Back

It's official, I am definitely running in Nashville. Last week I sent in my recommitment paperwork, today I bought my airline ticket.  In 50 days I'l be at the starting line of my second marathon. I am super excited and nervous all at the same time. I did it once, so why not again right?  I should be feeling confident, I was able to go 18 miles on Saturday without a problem...well except for the upset stomach, but I think that was from the pizza.

My ankle is aching but I think there is a good chance it will be all better before race day.  My knees are hanging in there for now. Hopefully they'll continue to put up with my craziness.  I've taken it easy since Saturday.  I did a mere 40 minutes of exercise while in Oregon which is so unlike me.  To my credit, I was working for 10+ hours a day and on my feet most of them.  I've gained 6 pounds in the past two weeks...eek. That may seems like nothing, but I'm just not used to that. I feel sluggish and like I'm losing my fitness. 

Last night I dragged my ass to the gym even though I was completely exhausted from being on the go since 3.30 am.  Half hour warm up on the bike, squats, lunges, arms and abs then a 20 minute stint on the elliptical. I was thinking about running tonight but may just hold off until my quick 12 mile run on Saturday. I'm sick to death of the dreadmill but hey, that's so much better than no running at all right?

My biggest fear is that I've been taking it way too easy with training and one of these days I'm bound to have a really shitty run. I'm just hoping that it's not marathon day.  Canyonlands is just three weeks away.  I'm not really focusing at that race at all, just looking at it as a training run. After all, I will have run 20 miles the Saturday before...13.1 is a lot shorter distance!  The marathon is what's on my mind every day.  Will I make it to the finish line?  Will I get injured again? Will I be able to run faster than the first one?  Is a 4:30 marathon a real possibility?

Apparently I need someone to help me quiet the critical thoughts and doubts in my head.